Los Angeles, July 7th 2009.
I've been very sad the whole day... when someone we don't know in person dies we feel sorry for that, but we don't really cry. I cried almost the whole day because of Michael Jackson, and there are many reasons why.
One thing I can remember as if it was today... it was my mom driving the car and we were listening to "Heal The World". I remember that despite being only a kid, I was touched by that song... and that's how I know that little kids are already very sensitive to certain things. Some more, some less... but for sure kids remember almost everything they had in their childhood when they grow up. I remember that I thought that song was so beautiful, I loved the kids talking in the beginning of it too, which is a child talking. I remember that I loved Michael Jacksons soft voice too. Today I can name it "soft", but when we're children we don't really know the word... we just feel it. When we grow up we can name things, but still can remember the feeling we had when we were kids. When I hear "Heal The World" I have the same feeling I had when I was kid. I get emotional.
I grew up listening to Michael Jackson's songs , and that's because of my family. My mom (Ana) and my father(Érico) love Michael Jackson. I knew they would be very sad to know that Michael died. My mom sent me a message... she was in tears like me. She remembered exactly the same things I remembered from when I was a kid, or a teen. I'm very emotional right now, I can't stop crying and I can't stop writing about it... it's like... I need to put on the paper the difference that someone can make in your life, even if you don't know this someone in person.
My mom remembered that I was in love with 'Man in The Mirror', my favorite Michael Jackson's song. She said things that I can remember... I used to pay attention to the back singers (the female voices) and sing that song with so much passion... Michael has perfect songs...
Still talking about Michael in my childhood... my sister (Janaína) and I used to get together with our neighbor (Helen) to sing and dance Michael Jackson songs... We loved to wait for her to jump the walls from her house to our house, and we held each other all excited to see her album "Thriller", which was the best selling album at that time (and became the best seeling album of all times). We loved to watch MTV together to see the videoclip! We were all a little bit scared of it, but still could make fun of it...
Once in the car, my sis and I put the song "Black or White", which my daddy loved. My mom had no idea that someone in the beginning of the song would knock Macaulay Culkin's door - but my sis and I knew it, of course, and we wanted to scare my mom. Kid's things... What happened? My mom was in the car "omg, what is that???"She thought that someone was hiting the windows in the car. My sis and I were laughing like crazy!
My sis and I loved Michael Jackson... we drove my mom nuts with "Liberian Girl", and there is this girl in the beginnig of the song that says something in another language, and we used to copy her in front of my mom - MILLION TIMES lol. It's funny, but "Liberian Girl" has Paula Abdul, who I became a huge fan later (I simply LOVE her), and remember my mom putting her songs on our radio...
We were staring at the tv waiting for the "Moonwalker"... I remember that so perfectly... my sis and I loved the bunny cartoon! Of course - we were kids! We also loved the song "Will You Be There" cause it was from the movie "Free Willy". It's interesting... when I hear it, I have in mind the end of the movie, when those Killer Whales are swimming happy in the ocean to the sound of Michael Jackson...
When I was a kid I used to travel a lot by car with my parents. We had (and still have) a beach house in Guarujá, São Paulo, where we practically grew up. At that time my skin was so perfect, so ten, so beautiful. Today I barely have sun bath lol so I'm as white as Nicole. Ok, not ugly, but so different from what I used to be hehe. My sis and I were little fishes. We were great swimmers... we had a lot of fun... and one of our favorite things to do was to pretend we were Michael Jackson and Stevie Wonder in "Just Good Friends". We used to make our duets, and entertain the family hehe. We also had our duet while singing "I Just Can't Stop Loving You", and from that we knew we were singers already. We used to make a little dance for this song, we would not move until I started sing the second part, we could move only our hands, and we had our backs together. I remember all that!!!!!!!
As a teenager I bought my first Michael Jackson album: "Dangerous". I was crazy about the song "Jam", and I didn't understand anything Michael Jackson was singing, but I liked the rap guy saying "Michael Jackson" in the middle of the song! With this album I could recognize some of the songs I already knew, and added "Keep the Faith"as one of my favorite songs. The lyrics I could understand a bit more, and the choir just moved me. I was a singer already, and as a teen (like a kid), I would imagine I was singing with that huge choir behind me. That choir was so amazing... That's how my passion for choirs began :) Later I was a solist in Coralusp and had the whole choir singing behind me. Dreams do come true :)
I used to sing "The Way We Make Me Feel" at the karaoke bars, and my best friend Estevam, who wanted to name me "Malu Dion" at that time, was kind of frustrated that I was named "Malu Jackson" by the owner of the karaoke LOL. Later I had the nickname "Malu Dion" singing onstage in High School times, and that was because I used to sing all Céline Dion songs in the competitions. And won :))) Great times...
Céline sang "What More I Can Give" with Michael. I almost died! The fact that she was the first one to start the song made me cheer up for her (I'm a true Céline fan for 14 years). Fan things :) Michael was watching her in front row when she won the Grammy for "Because You Loved Me", and she was probably scared to death, I knew she loved him too. It's funny how all the artists I love are related somehow. I've been meeting many friends and fans through them all. And the funniest thing is that I met three "Paula Abdul-Céline Dion fans" like me. And they all love Michael too. I think that LOVE unites these artists somehow, through music and fans.
I'm telling all this here today cause I'm reflecting how a person can make a big difference in your life. Michael made a huge difference in my life. I'm more sensitive to music because of his music, because of what I heard when I was a child. He brought joy to me and my family while we enjoyed his music. He was sweet, and kind, and I admired him so much. I didn't know Michael in person, but he added to my career, and my voice tremendouly. I paid attention to his singing and learned a lot from it. His dance moves were the best, I used to dance good, not anymore lol. Read a little bit of what I wrote to know how he was part of my life... it's here and a lot is in my brain, some things I can't remember anymore, but they're all there...
When I say that a person we don't know in person makes a huge difference in our lives, it's true. Michael made a difference in many other people's lives. Céline and Paula make a huge difference in mine. They're also my inspiration, and good people I look at. Role models. I have a special feeling about them, I'm part of their fan clubs for a while, and know a lot more about their careers. I'm not them, I don't wanna copy them, but they add me a lot as artists and great human-beings. Michael was a wonderful human being. I've always defended him, always loved him so much. I cried many times while watching his interviews, people judging his appearence, telling lies about him, and he started crying many times during his interviews. He would say softly and crying "why are you doing this to me?"... he couldn't believe how people could be mean. I supported him. Michael was as sweet as a child. And today in his Memorial at Staples Center we saw his whole family united telling people the same thing, the great human-being he was. Now he will have peace. He is with God. I have no doubt about it. I have this in my heart, and wherever he is... he is happy with God.
*** Michael, you'll be part of my greatest memories... the best moments I had with my family. My lovely childhood. The difference you made in our lives with your incredible talent. The difference you made to my beloved artists too. The partnership and friendship you had with my beloved Paula Abdul while at Jackson 5, and while she was part of 'Liberian Girl' or choreographed Janet, etc. The work with my beloved Céline Dion, who you loved deeply and brought her to tears many times. And finally, me. You added to my music, my career, my voice, my sensitive heart. You made me feel things when I was a kid that were my first signs of being an artist. Thank you, Michael. You're in peace, I'm so sure of it... I love you, forever. Malu
Me emocionei!
ReplyDelete