For you, Paulette :)

Dear Paula,

Sweet Paula... God created you as a very talented and sweet girl. Everyone knows that you've been fighting, working hard, and keeping your head up in very difficult moments, and that's why you are where you deserve to be right now. You're recognized by everyone because of your talent, and you're truly beloved BY GOOD PEOPLE because you are a good person. Sometimes we're been through something we don't want to, and this something make us sad, we cry, we don't see God, we don't see even the floor we're stepping on. God sees it, my angel. And He knows exactly what's going on, and He always wants what it's better for us. You had hard times in your life when you had car/plane accidents, and I believe that at some point you cried and thought that you'd never make it. I believe that at some point you cried desperate, and didn't know what was going to happen. But here you are now. You won. You found strenght inside, God gave you directions, and you never gave up on anything. You're a fighter, you're a winner, I know that. People who have worked with you/for you know that, fans know that, even haters know that (but we don't give a sh* LOL), everyone knows that. God knows that. God knows what you are, and how sweet you are, what your weaknesses are, where your strenght is! That's the most important thing. He knows your limits, and what is good for you. Most of the time when we try, try, try, to have something, God is working up there for us to give us the best thing ever. At present time maybe we don't see it, but we do see it in the future. Maybe if you hadn't pass through so very hard moments, you'd never be a fighter as you are, and have the true values of life inside of you, sweet Paula. You have all these good things inside of you because somehow you experienced certain things in your life that made you see how beautiful life is and how miracles happen. I was driving 110 North another day, and my friend and I were late, I was very upset because we were a few minutes late to get to a party. At some point of the freeway, we saw a bad accident, people were crying, and the cars were destroyed. It happened minutes before we got there. Probably we would have been in that accident if we weren't late. Thank God we were late. In another day, last Thursday, I forgot the tickets for the American Idol concert in my house (South Bay). I was already in Hollywood to pick up my friend, and we were getting our make-up ready when I remembered the tickets were still in my house. We had to go all the way back in the carpool lane, I was shaking, very mad at myself for being so stupid, and I almost cried thinking that we would propably miss the concert. I didn't cry cause my friend told me this "if we're not getting there right now, it's because God is protecting us from something we don't know, and we're gonna get there at the time He wants to". We got there for the concert, just a few minutes late, but didn't miss anything important to us. We don't know what could have happened to us if we had taken the other direction. But at the moment my friend said that, I held my tears, and thought... "it's true, we don't have to worry, God is in control".
Paula, I love you. You're beloved by many people. Can you imagine how much God loves you, sweetie? He won't abandone you. Whatever happens to your personal or professional life, is something blessed by God. There are good people in the world, and there are evil people in the world. You are part of the group of the good ones. If God gives the sun and the rain to evil people and good people, can you imagine what can he give more to good people? Whatever happens, be sure my doll, that it will be for your good cause u're a very special person, and God has the best things for you. We don't know if He wants you on AI. Maybe yes, maybe not. We'll see. We know what we want. We want you to stay. We know that you want to stay cause you love your job, and you're the only one who's very dedicated to those kids, and to the show in everything. We know that millions of people want you to stay and that when the show starts, if you're not there, we all are gonna get united for you and turn off the tv in protest, for the whole season. We won't watch it. I won't watch it, and I know the people who will do the same. Maybe you'll say "guys, you don't need to do that..." , but Paula, we will. If the don't be fair to you, we all will. We know how much you love working there. But loviiie, what I wanna tell is that if you don't keep there, for sure it's because there is something better for you in the very close future. You're such a talented person, you succeed in everything. You know why? Because in everything you do, you put your heart on it. You don't work for the money only, you also work with your heart, and that what makes you so special. And if you're so special my sweetheart, God will never let you stay in places that you won't feel good anymore. He wants to keep you special, and see you happy working. I want that too :) I wanna see you happy :))) It's very important that you keep always dancing, and making your albums, that's a gift you have, a talent of not many people, a work you do perfectly. You make great music. You're a choreographer as anyone else. Keeping writing music, keep believing. Always. I believe you. I believe in you. I know you're gonna be fine, even if it looks like it's a hard moment. It will be better, my sweet Paula. I love you very very much, and I don't wanna see you crying. If you get sad, I cry. It's true. I don't like to see you sad cause I know how sweet you are, and that you don't deserve to be treated wrong. You're a doll. I say it again.. you're a winner, Paula. You are. God is with you, I'm sure. Don't cry. Your tears make my heart hurt a lot, and I cry :( Keep moving, keep smiling, go find your way, God will give you what you need. Believe. I'm praying for you. Smile. You have the most beautiful smile I ever seen :))) I love you, lovely Paula. Feel I'm hugging you now! Huuuuuuuug :) Enjoy your Sunday, go have fun, reflect a bit, don't cry, pray... and dance ;)

With love,

Malu xoxo

Te amo, my dear friend Nara :)

Los Angeles, July 10th 2009.

Today I'm gonna celebrate my friendship with Nara. You're probably asking yourself..."who's Nara?"
Nara is joy. If you wanna know what joy really is, you should hang out with my friend Nara. Wherever she goes, she brings joy to that place. She makes people laugh, but not because she makes jokes, or try to entertain anyone, it's just because she's a true happy person. She smiles the whole time - except when she's hungry hehe.
I've been living in the USA for almost three years, and last year God gave me the chance to meet Nara. From day one, we were friends. We had our best times together, we hung out around L.A., we had vacation together, she stayed in my house, she played with the kids the whole time. Nara is like a kid, she has this energy, she plays all the time, she falls down on the floor and get hurt all the time while playing. At the same time, she's very mature. I saw her crying only once, when someone made her feel like an idiot. Next day she forgave that person.
Nara never worries about anything. She never suffers for something that could happen. She lives life at present time, and waits for the future with a positive attitude. She's practical, never paranoic. She taught me how to see things in a easier way, and showed me that I can complicate things when they don't need to be complicated.
Nara can be crazy, so drunk, and talks to everyone on the streets. If someone is not a good influence for her, she doesn't worry about it, she just keeps herself away from trouble. She can have her quiet times, and reflect about God for weeks. She asked me if she could go with me to the church ( as if she needed to ask...), and we went there together. She jumped, sang, prayed, as if she was there for so many years. She never felt unconfortable, and never judged my religion. I love the fact that she doesn't judge people by religion, color, economy levels, etc.
Nara is a wonderful human being. She has her mistakes, not many, I can tell. But the ones she has, she corrects them quick. She talks. Nara and I talk to each other like sisters. She calls me Malukete :) We never hide anything from each other. If we're in a bad mood - usually me- she would say that I'm terribly annoying, and vice-versa. We never had a fight, but we had arguments regarding different points of view and we always end up with an agreement. She faces life as a gift, and I learned a lot from her about it.
Nara and I went to San Diego, Las Vegas, San Francisco, etc, together. We shared a huge journey here in the USA, and now she's gonna continue hers in Brazil. I'll continue mine here. For how long? I don't know, and I'm not gonna worry about math, numbers. I will do what my dear friend taught me... I'll face it in a positive way.
Nara is inside of the airplane now. I prayed for her already, I have my good thoughts on her. Before she got in the airplane to come back to Brazil she sent me a txt message. She said "Thank you, Malukete. Time for you to kick your ass here and for me to kick my ass there [Brazil]. Kisses". This is SO Nara.

***Narinha, I love you... I'll miss you. You are very important to me, and you'll be my friend forever. I'll see you again, somewhere in this beautiful world. I will stop now, or I'm gonna cry. And you taught me not to cry for every single thing that makes me emotional. I love you... God Bless You always.
Narinha, eu te amo... Vou sentir saudade. Você é importante pra mim, abestada! E você é minha amiga pra sempreeeee. Lógico que eu vou te ver de novo, em algum lugar desse mundo liiindo. Chega de falar, senão vou chorar, e você me ensinou a não chorar por qualquer merda -sem ofensa HAHAHAHA LOL A traducão em português tá beeeeeem melhor HAHAHA. Te amo amiga, fica com Deus.

Malu xoxo

You Built Part of Who I am (my little tribute to Michael Jackson)

Los Angeles, July 7th 2009.

I've been very sad the whole day... when someone we don't know in person dies we feel sorry for that, but we don't really cry. I cried almost the whole day because of Michael Jackson, and there are many reasons why.

One thing I can remember as if it was today... it was my mom driving the car and we were listening to "Heal The World". I remember that despite being only a kid, I was touched by that song... and that's how I know that little kids are already very sensitive to certain things. Some more, some less... but for sure kids remember almost everything they had in their childhood when they grow up. I remember that I thought that song was so beautiful, I loved the kids talking in the beginning of it too, which is a child talking. I remember that I loved Michael Jacksons soft voice too. Today I can name it "soft", but when we're children we don't really know the word... we just feel it. When we grow up we can name things, but still can remember the feeling we had when we were kids. When I hear "Heal The World" I have the same feeling I had when I was kid. I get emotional.

I grew up listening to Michael Jackson's songs , and that's because of my family. My mom (Ana) and my father(Érico) love Michael Jackson. I knew they would be very sad to know that Michael died. My mom sent me a message... she was in tears like me. She remembered exactly the same things I remembered from when I was a kid, or a teen. I'm very emotional right now, I can't stop crying and I can't stop writing about it... it's like... I need to put on the paper the difference that someone can make in your life, even if you don't know this someone in person.
My mom remembered that I was in love with 'Man in The Mirror', my favorite Michael Jackson's song. She said things that I can remember... I used to pay attention to the back singers (the female voices) and sing that song with so much passion... Michael has perfect songs...

Still talking about Michael in my childhood... my sister (Janaína) and I used to get together with our neighbor (Helen) to sing and dance Michael Jackson songs... We loved to wait for her to jump the walls from her house to our house, and we held each other all excited to see her album "Thriller", which was the best selling album at that time (and became the best seeling album of all times). We loved to watch MTV together to see the videoclip! We were all a little bit scared of it, but still could make fun of it...

Once in the car, my sis and I put the song "Black or White", which my daddy loved. My mom had no idea that someone in the beginning of the song would knock Macaulay Culkin's door - but my sis and I knew it, of course, and we wanted to scare my mom. Kid's things... What happened? My mom was in the car "omg, what is that???"She thought that someone was hiting the windows in the car. My sis and I were laughing like crazy!

My sis and I loved Michael Jackson... we drove my mom nuts with "Liberian Girl", and there is this girl in the beginnig of the song that says something in another language, and we used to copy her in front of my mom - MILLION TIMES lol. It's funny, but "Liberian Girl" has Paula Abdul, who I became a huge fan later (I simply LOVE her), and remember my mom putting her songs on our radio...

We were staring at the tv waiting for the "Moonwalker"... I remember that so perfectly... my sis and I loved the bunny cartoon! Of course - we were kids! We also loved the song "Will You Be There" cause it was from the movie "Free Willy". It's interesting... when I hear it, I have in mind the end of the movie, when those Killer Whales are swimming happy in the ocean to the sound of Michael Jackson...

When I was a kid I used to travel a lot by car with my parents. We had (and still have) a beach house in Guarujá, São Paulo, where we practically grew up. At that time my skin was so perfect, so ten, so beautiful. Today I barely have sun bath lol so I'm as white as Nicole. Ok, not ugly, but so different from what I used to be hehe. My sis and I were little fishes. We were great swimmers... we had a lot of fun... and one of our favorite things to do was to pretend we were Michael Jackson and Stevie Wonder in "Just Good Friends". We used to make our duets, and entertain the family hehe. We also had our duet while singing "I Just Can't Stop Loving You", and from that we knew we were singers already. We used to make a little dance for this song, we would not move until I started sing the second part, we could move only our hands, and we had our backs together. I remember all that!!!!!!!

As a teenager I bought my first Michael Jackson album: "Dangerous". I was crazy about the song "Jam", and I didn't understand anything Michael Jackson was singing, but I liked the rap guy saying "Michael Jackson" in the middle of the song! With this album I could recognize some of the songs I already knew, and added "Keep the Faith"as one of my favorite songs. The lyrics I could understand a bit more, and the choir just moved me. I was a singer already, and as a teen (like a kid), I would imagine I was singing with that huge choir behind me. That choir was so amazing... That's how my passion for choirs began :) Later I was a solist in Coralusp and had the whole choir singing behind me. Dreams do come true :)

I used to sing "The Way We Make Me Feel" at the karaoke bars, and my best friend Estevam, who wanted to name me "Malu Dion" at that time, was kind of frustrated that I was named "Malu Jackson" by the owner of the karaoke LOL. Later I had the nickname "Malu Dion" singing onstage in High School times, and that was because I used to sing all Céline Dion songs in the competitions. And won :))) Great times...

Céline sang "What More I Can Give" with Michael. I almost died! The fact that she was the first one to start the song made me cheer up for her (I'm a true Céline fan for 14 years). Fan things :) Michael was watching her in front row when she won the Grammy for "Because You Loved Me", and she was probably scared to death, I knew she loved him too. It's funny how all the artists I love are related somehow. I've been meeting many friends and fans through them all. And the funniest thing is that I met three "Paula Abdul-Céline Dion fans" like me. And they all love Michael too. I think that LOVE unites these artists somehow, through music and fans.

I'm telling all this here today cause I'm reflecting how a person can make a big difference in your life. Michael made a huge difference in my life. I'm more sensitive to music because of his music, because of what I heard when I was a child. He brought joy to me and my family while we enjoyed his music. He was sweet, and kind, and I admired him so much. I didn't know Michael in person, but he added to my career, and my voice tremendouly. I paid attention to his singing and learned a lot from it. His dance moves were the best, I used to dance good, not anymore lol. Read a little bit of what I wrote to know how he was part of my life... it's here and a lot is in my brain, some things I can't remember anymore, but they're all there...
When I say that a person we don't know in person makes a huge difference in our lives, it's true. Michael made a difference in many other people's lives. Céline and Paula make a huge difference in mine. They're also my inspiration, and good people I look at. Role models. I have a special feeling about them, I'm part of their fan clubs for a while, and know a lot more about their careers. I'm not them, I don't wanna copy them, but they add me a lot as artists and great human-beings. Michael was a wonderful human being. I've always defended him, always loved him so much. I cried many times while watching his interviews, people judging his appearence, telling lies about him, and he started crying many times during his interviews. He would say softly and crying "why are you doing this to me?"... he couldn't believe how people could be mean. I supported him. Michael was as sweet as a child. And today in his Memorial at Staples Center we saw his whole family united telling people the same thing, the great human-being he was. Now he will have peace. He is with God. I have no doubt about it. I have this in my heart, and wherever he is... he is happy with God.

*** Michael, you'll be part of my greatest memories... the best moments I had with my family. My lovely childhood. The difference you made in our lives with your incredible talent. The difference you made to my beloved artists too. The partnership and friendship you had with my beloved Paula Abdul while at Jackson 5, and while she was part of 'Liberian Girl' or choreographed Janet, etc. The work with my beloved Céline Dion, who you loved deeply and brought her to tears many times. And finally, me. You added to my music, my career, my voice, my sensitive heart. You made me feel things when I was a kid that were my first signs of being an artist. Thank you, Michael. You're in peace, I'm so sure of it... I love you, forever. Malu

Happy Birthday Paulaaaaaaaa

***

Los Angeles, June 19th 2009.


"Happy Birthday to you... Happy Birthday to you... Happy Birthday DEAR PAULA... Happy Birthday to you..."

In Brazil we would keep going with this song "Com quem será? Com quem será? Com quem será que a Paula vai casar? Vai depender... vai depender... vai depender se o ______ vai querer". KKK this is in Portuguese from Brazil "Who's gonna be... who's gonna be... who's gonna be the one that Paula will get marry to? It will depend, it will depend, it will depend on what _______ wants to do..." [hehe I'd put "cuddles" name over there]. I think that maybe your daddy knows how to sing it, Paulette :) It's cute ;)

Hey angel, Thank you for reading this letter I wrote you. It's a "little" long, but I'm celebrating a multitask-amazing-adorable person who I love, so how could this be a short one? LOL!

Today is a very special day because it's the one that some years ago God decided to give you LIFE. It's a day that He possibly thought "I'll give the world a very sweet person. She will be beloved everywhere, by people from all continents. She will have the most beautiful smile ever. She will be very famous, but she will keep being humble as a child. People will get confused if she's a woman or a girl. She will have many talents, many skills, and many challenges. She will be a winner! Her name will be Paula Julie Abdul" - (baby crying)--- PAULA WAS BORN :)))

Paulinha (you know I love to call you Paulinha...), when I read that "people who belong to God are the ones who are humble as a child", I thought about my sister in Brazil and YOU. My sister talks like an angel... she's very sweet, and has everything she needs to live good, but she NEVER changed her humble way. You Paula, you're like my sister, and I told you once that I talk to you as if you were my sister. But that is also because you make people feel very close to you, you're a simple person who enjoys simple things in life. There are billions of people in this world, and I'm thankful that I see one that is so rare, so special: YOU.

I see how Paula Julie Abdul really is. She is this person who hugs people WITH LOVE (it's not just a hug), she truly cares about them, and talks gently to everyone. She has this contagious joy :) She can be angry and can get hurt with injustice or with rude people. Even when she's angry, she still seems like a child being angry because mom and dad are doing something she doesn't like, so she cries hurt because she could never be evil to anyone :) Paula is a very fragile person. She is very sensitive. She doesn't like to correct people's really bad mistakes because she was born to support and love them, not to show them that they're wrong. When she must correct people, or criticize someone, she feels bad... she doesn't like to do that! She has such a beautiful soul... Paula knows she's a simple person inside of a celebrity body. And she knows that as a celebrity, she can't be as simple as she wants to be anymore... But people who LOVE her understand that. I saw Paula many times opening the window of her car to talk to every single person, every single fan, every single paparazzi, even when she was exausted... even after a busy day she would give full attention to everyone. She gives her best, always. Once I saw Paula upset when she was making money, and that was because she sold out all her jelwery on tv, and actually she wanted to have some extra jewelry to give people as a present! Beautiful heart :) I saw Paula worried about a little girl who felt down on the streets and she came to help. I saw Paula cleaning the hair of a guy who broke cement blocks on his head on a tv show, and she was the first one to care about him and asked him "are you ok?". I also saw her sad because she believed in people she shouldn't, and they cheated on her, but even though she kept believing in people as a child talks to a stranger on the streets. She's an optimist person :) I saw Paula with a shy smile when "cuddles" blinked at her. It's like a little girl being flirted. I saw her teasing him too, and there was nothing childish about that HEHE. I saw Paula being the funniest person ever, making the best jokes, saying clever comments about any kind of subject. She can be innocent sometimes, but she's always smart. She can make mistakes like anyone else, but people can notice HER mistakes more than other people's mistakes because she's SO honest that she can't hide anything when she's wrong. She's a true person. I saw Paula crying alone when she just needed a hug. I saw her full of people around when she needed the silence. I saw her having the best moments with people she loves, and with people who love her. I saw some people hurting her, but I saw her being strong :) I saw people hugging her with love. I saw her in physical pain, but still working hard. I saw her keeping her body in great shape, and doing her best to keep healthy. She is gorgeous :) I saw Paula working hard on her songs, on other people's songs, on her performances, on other people's performances. She's a person who shares her talent. She's a fantastic dancer/singer/choreographer. I saw her proud of her jewelry designs, but never snobbish. I saw Paula extremely happy because someone realized a dream. She's passionate and a very emotional person too. I saw Paula helping people and animals through charity. She's precious to them and to God. I saw her calling every people by their names. She remembers their names and faces. I saw her answering my messages and making me emotional, happy, touched :) I saw her replying messages with so much love. I saw people pressuring her to write them back, and she doesn't get upset as I do when they say that...so she just writes them back :) I saw her being very professional, and very friendly to people at work, and treating Daniel like he deserves to be treated (with love). I saw she is a family-oriented person who loves to be with her parents. I saw her talking about her sister with so much proud and love :) I saw Paula changing Simon to a better person, and a smiley guy. I used to hate him in Season 1, now I can't stop seeing them both, it's like they're only one :) She makes the difference in people's lives. I saw that Paula is not THAT experienced with love subject, but she's the best one being charming. I saw her very afraid to get hurt when in love. She deserves a man who shows her how much he loves her, and treats her like a princess :) [so you guy there, wake up and treat her with gentleness!]. I saw Paula in love. She IS pure love. I saw all that, and I STILL SEE.

I see you, sweetheart. I see more than that, but you don't wanna read a Novel, do you? kkk Paulinha, I always pray for you, care about you, worry about you, cheer up for you. Can you imagine how much God sees, Paula? A lot more :) As I told you once, He must love you soooooo much... you, this beautiful young lady who has this huge heart...

You made such a difference in my life, you have no idea. Paula, I had a really bad moment in Los Angeles. A guy made me stop smiling for almost a year, I felt in love with a man who pretended he liked me. When I found out the truth, my whole world fell apart. I found myself completely alone without my family to support me here (they're all in Brazil), I found myself in the middle of people who never gave me a hug when I needed one so badly. I got myself in noisy places when I needed my quiet time. I cried more than ever, I was very hurt, and I could not believe in people anymore. But I kept seeing you, and looking at this bright smile and your goodness. Finally I woke up one day and thought "yes, look at Paula... there are still some very good and sweet people in the world". You've always been my inspiration, but at that moment, when I remembered your face, you helped me to raise myself again. You helped me to believe in people again. I did move on, and today I'm back to my old self, smiling, happy, full of friends, and ready to love a man again. Thank you for being my inspiration.
Thank you, Paula.

I love you, I'm sure you feel that... I know you read my messages, and I know you read everyone's messages. That's just the way you are, a fantastic human-being :) It's funny that now when I go online and that I can communicate with you, you became part of my daily "good mornings", and "night nights", and more than that cause even when I can't write you during the day, or when I don't see you updating your messages, I know you're very busy, or sad, or bored, or doing something REALLY good that is not of our business LOL My day is not complete anymore if I don't say at least 'hello' or 'see ya later', or "goodnight" to you. I know you can't answer everyone and everytime, but I know you read everything, and that means a lot to me. I can imagine your beautiful face thinking like "I wanna answer everyone, I wanna answer everyone!", but some people understand that you can't. You have thousands of lovers :) You are unique, Paula. You deserve the best things ever, you are where you deserve to be. For all your hard work, for all your kindness. You are this sweet woman-girl or girl-woman. And even if I'm not very close, I know that I'll give you a huge hug when I meet you. And more... even if I never have the chance to give you a hug cause I'm not the kind of person who searches for you in every single corner of this city LOL, I'll still love you in the very same way... always.
"Pawrla" hehe Paulinha do meu coração (Paulinha who belongs to my heart), I'm very happy for your huge success, I've always loved to see you dancing, I love your songs (especially 'Rush Rush' live in Japan, 'Cold Hearted Snake' videoclip and 'Vibeology' IN MY CAR AND CELL PHONE lol), I LOVE your perfomances everywhere, and all you do on tv, from American Idol to other appearences in tv shows, series, etc. I love reading your blog, I laugh a lot with your comments about your cute chihuahuas :) I'm very proud of you and of your new projects. Your new single "I'm Just Here For The Music" is delicious, "FANTASTIQUE"! I'm very happy to write you a letter in a such special day. I really want you to have a blessed day. The day you were born :) Celebrate, go have fun, and as I always say to you, never ever leave LOVE behind -I just feel sorry it's L.A. and OMG, I know how hard it it is to date a nice serious guy here! LOL But you're a beautiful woman, very talented, very intelligent, and you deserve a man who gives you love :) But remember angel... men are not perfect HAHAHA So... open your heart, and LOVE your guy too. Seriously. Take risks, even if it could hurt later. Try, you gotta try ;) That's the best advice I can give you for now, and "That's What Friends Are For" (Today, in a very simple way, I'm singing this for you http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_RTNsLT0JCk ). I'm a fan, and I'm your friend too, in my heart ;) I wanna see you completely happy in everything, and FOREVER. You're forever my girl, and remember that I am "Forever Your Girl" too :) I love you, Paula. I'm saying that with all my heart. God bless all the days of your life. Smile like you always do :)))

A HUGE HUUUUUUUUGE hug, beijos (kisses). Eu te amo muito(I love you very much)

Sincerely,

Malu [@Tonange]

Happy Birthday Paula -part 2

**********

Los Angeles, June 19th 2009.

Hey Paulette, I have the "Paula Abdul Brazilian Community" on Orkut [http://www.orkut.com/Main#Community.aspx?cmm=87952140], and some of the sweetest girls took my advice and created an account on Twitter just to wish you a Happy Birthday :) They sent me some e-mails with kind words for you, and I translated them from Portuguese into English. They love you very much, they've been members of my community on Orkut for a while now, and I trust them as great fans :)They're very happy that they can communicate with you now!!! :))) I'm sending you their messages here, by Twitter, and trying through your fan club too :))) Love you.

Here are their messages:

1- from Sarah Moraes (@sah_m on Twitter - http://twitter.com/sah_m)

Paula, Happy Birthday!
I love you, and I will ALWAYS love you, no matter what. You're the best part of my day, my biggest dream is to know you in person, and I'm really proud to be your fan. You have changed my life, you made me feel happier. You're very special to me. I wish you a lot of happiness in your life, joy, the best things ever, and success forever. Keep shinning, that's all you deserve!
Your smile is able to confort the saddest souls. Have a wonderful birthday party!
Sarah

2- from Amanda Alves Urzêdo Moura (@Urzedo on Twitter - http://twitter.com/Urzedo)

Hi Paula! Happy Birthday! My name's Amanda, I'm from Brazil. I'm one of your biggest fans, but only one of them cause you have so many over here :) Well, I'm writting you to wish you a Happy Birthday, and wish that you live many more years in your life full of LOVE, peace, even more success each day, joy, etc. You deserve all the best in your life. God bless you always, and be with you and your family all of your days. This date will be happening again for many and many years in your life :) I admire you, and your work. I love your songs! I love to see you dancing! I love to see you on American Idol! Finally, I LOVE YOU!
I love your smile... your smile is able to make people happy and it conquers the heart of any person. You're a hardworker, a brave person, humble, and helps anyone who needs help. Paula, you're an inspiration for all of us. Your laughter, your ways, the special way you speak, etc... all that are so remarkable on you... each person can remember all of that even if they see you for only one minute. You have this remarkable personality. You're enchanting, you comquer, you shine, you inpire people, you give them joy. I wish you always keep this wonderful woman... I know that even through hard times you're always smiling, making people feel good, shining all people's ways. Hope you can realize all your dreams, and never give up on anything. Hope someday I can meet you in person. That's all... Happy Birthday! Many hugs, and kisses full of love from your Brazilian Fan.

Amanda Alves Urzêdo Moura.

3- from Bruna Itzicovitchi (@bruna_itzi on Twitter - http://twitter.com/bruna_itzi)

Paula, omg *O* You have no idea how I ADORE you! I know you for not so long because I live in Brazil and I'm only 15... the first time I saw you it was when I traveled to Florida, and I turned on the tv (I could not understand English at that time, I was 12 or 13, I don't remember) and I saw you very funny on a tv show. I saw this extremely beautiful woman, powerful, gracious, with a great sense of humor, so polite even after being attacked by a crazy guy at that time: Simon. I was enchanted to see how pretty you were, I remember I completely LOOOOOVED your perfect outfit, your perfect-beautiful-wondeful hair and the impecable make-up!
When I came back to Brazil I still didn't know your name... and I didn't know the name of the show, but a few months later I saw an advertisement saying "American Idol" and they showed the contestants and the judges! I saw you again! I was sooooo happy that I started jumping all around the house like a child! I immediately started surfing the internet to know more about that perfect woman I saw *O* I was in front of my computer for hours and hours just searching for information about you, looking at pictures, videos, etc. When I found out that you were also a singer, I freaked out! I asked my daddy to download all your songs, and videos, and everything else I could find about you! For many weeks I was listening only to your songs, and I told all my friends about you. I talled to them so much about you thay they would tell me to shut up sometimes ;D
From those moments on I never missed a single episode of American Idol just to se you, and also which clothes you would wear! *O* Please, don't leave American Idol =\
You're the most important person on that show! Without you, it's not worthy. Without your magnificient vocabulary the show won't be the same. Of course that hun... as a good fan I've been also following you and Simon's kind of " affair" ;D "Opposites Attract", right? Go for it, you both make a great couple *O* You're beautiful together, just perfect, soul mates!
Finally, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!!!!! I wish you the best, today and always. A lot of success for you in your musical area. And please, don't forget that you have many fans in Brazil, crazy to see you performing *-* Have a lot of fun on this special day, it's YOUR day :D I love you so very much *O* my inspiration ♥
A lot of tender kisses on your cheek from a fan that really loves you! ♥

Bruna Ribeiro Itzicovitch ♥

4- from Juliana Lefevre (@Ju_lefevre on Twitter - https://twitter.com/Ju_lefevre)

Paula, Happy Birthday!

I wish you all the happiness in the world.
You are my one and only idol, I love everything you do. There’s no one like you, so sweet, so funny, talented, beautiful. Ooh, you’re perfect. You make me laugh every
time I see you, it feels so good to be your fan. You will always be forever our girl, your fans love you very much. You’ll never be alone, that’s for sure.
Keep on doing what you do, because that’s what makes us happy. Love you so much, and I wish someday I can say all this things in person.
1 billion kisses have a wonderful day, I’ll be thinking of you.

Love,

Juliana
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Hope you like it, Paula!
Hugs! Malu (@Tonange on Twitter - https://twitter.com/Tonange)

Happy Birthday Paulaaaaaa

***

Los Angeles, June 19th 2009.


"Happy Birthday to you... Happy Birthday to you... Happy Birthday DEAR PAULA... Happy Birthday to you..."

In Brazil we would keep going with this song "Com quem será? Com quem será? Com quem será que a Paula vai casar? Vai depender... vai depender... vai depender se o ______ vai querer". KKK this is in Portuguese from Brazil "Who's gonna be... who's gonna be... who's gonna be the one that Paula will get marry to? It will depend, it will depend, it will depend on what _______ wants to do..." [hehe I'd put "cuddles" name over there]. I think that maybe your daddy knows how to sing it, Paulette :) It's cute ;)

Hey angel, Thank you for reading this letter I wrote you. It's a "little" long, but I'm celebrating a multitask-amazing-adorable person who I love, so how could this be a short one? LOL!

Today is a very special day because it's the one that some years ago God decided to give you LIFE. It's a day that He possibly thought "I'll give the world a very sweet person. She will be beloved everywhere, by people from all continents. She will have the most beautiful smile ever. She will be very famous, but she will keep being humble as a child. People will get confused if she's a woman or a girl. She will have many talents, many skills, and many challenges. She will be a winner! Her name will be Paula Julie Abdul" - (baby crying)--- PAULA WAS BORN :)))

Paulinha (you know I love to call you Paulinha...), when I read that "people who belong to God are the ones who are humble as a child", I thought about my sister in Brazil and YOU. My sister talks like an angel... she's very sweet, and has everything she needs to live good, but she NEVER changed her humble way. You Paula, you're like my sister, and I told you once that I talk to you as if you were my sister. But that is also because you make people feel very close to you, you're a simple person who enjoys simple things in life. There are billions of people in this world, and I'm thankful that I see one that is so rare, so special: YOU.

I see how Paula Julie Abdul really is. She is this person who hugs people WITH LOVE (it's not just a hug), she truly cares about them, and talks gently to everyone. She has this contagious joy :) She can be angry and can get hurt with injustice or with rude people. Even when she's angry, she still seems like a child being angry because mom and dad are doing something she doesn't like, so she cries hurt because she could never be evil to anyone :) Paula is a very fragile person. She is very sensitive. She doesn't like to correct people's really bad mistakes because she was born to support and love them, not to show them that they're wrong. When she must correct people, or criticize someone, she feels bad... she doesn't like to do that! She has such a beautiful soul... Paula knows she's a simple person inside of a celebrity body. And she knows that as a celebrity, she can't be as simple as she wants to be anymore... But people who LOVE her understand that. I saw Paula many times opening the window of her car to talk to every single person, every single fan, every single paparazzi, even when she was exausted... even after a busy day she would give full attention to everyone. She gives her best, always. Once I saw Paula upset when she was making money, and that was because she sold out all her jelwery on tv, and actually she wanted to have some extra jewelry to give people as a present! Beautiful heart :) I saw Paula worried about a little girl who felt down on the streets and she came to help. I saw Paula cleaning the hair of a guy who broke cement blocks on his head on a tv show, and she was the first one to care about him and asked him "are you ok?". I also saw her sad because she believed in people she shouldn't, and they cheated on her, but even though she kept believing in people as a child talks to a stranger on the streets. She's an optimist person :) I saw Paula with a shy smile when "cuddles" blinked at her. It's like a little girl being flirted. I saw her teasing him too, and there was nothing childish about that HEHE. I saw Paula being the funniest person ever, making the best jokes, saying clever comments about any kind of subject. She can be innocent sometimes, but she's always smart. She can make mistakes like anyone else, but people can notice HER mistakes more than other people's mistakes because she's SO honest that she can't hide anything when she's wrong. She's a true person. I saw Paula crying alone when she just needed a hug. I saw her full of people around when she needed the silence. I saw her having the best moments with people she loves, and with people who love her. I saw some people hurting her, but I saw her being strong :) I saw people hugging her with love. I saw her in physical pain, but still working hard. I saw her keeping her body in great shape, and doing her best to keep healthy. She is gorgeous :) I saw Paula working hard on her songs, on other people's songs, on her performances, on other people's performances. She's a person who shares her talent. She's a fantastic dancer/singer/choreographer. I saw her proud of her jewelry designs, but never snobbish. I saw Paula extremely happy because someone realized a dream. She's passionate and a very emotional person too. I saw Paula helping people and animals through charity. She's precious to them and to God. I saw her calling every people by their names. She remembers their names and faces. I saw her answering my messages and making me emotional, happy, touched :) I saw her replying messages with so much love. I saw people pressuring her to write them back, and she doesn't get upset as I do when they say that...so she just writes them back :) I saw her being very professional, and very friendly to people at work, and treating Daniel like he deserves to be treated (with love). I saw she is a family-oriented person who loves to be with her parents. I saw her talking about her sister with so much proud and love :) I saw Paula changing Simon to a better person, and a smiley guy. I used to hate him in Season 1, now I can't stop seeing them both, it's like they're only one :) She makes the difference in people's lives. I saw that Paula is not THAT experienced with love subject, but she's the best one being charming. I saw her very afraid to get hurt when in love. She deserves a man who shows her how much he loves her, and treats her like a princess :) [so you guy there, wake up and treat her with gentleness!]. I saw Paula in love. She IS pure love. I saw all that, and I STILL SEE.

I see you, sweetheart. I see more than that, but you don't wanna read a Novel, do you? kkk Paulinha, I always pray for you, care about you, worry about you, cheer up for you. Can you imagine how much God sees, Paula? A lot more :) As I told you once, He must love you soooooo much... you, this beautiful young lady who has this huge heart...

You made such a difference in my life, you have no idea. Paula, I had a really bad moment in Los Angeles. A guy made me stop smiling for almost a year, I felt in love with a man who pretended he liked me. When I found out the truth, my whole world fell apart. I found myself completely alone without my family to support me here (they're all in Brazil), I found myself in the middle of people who never gave me a hug when I needed one so badly. I got myself in noisy places when I needed my quiet time. I cried more than ever, I was very hurt, and I could not believe in people anymore. But I kept seeing you, and looking at this bright smile and your goodness. Finally I woke up one day and thought "yes, look at Paula... there are still some very good and sweet people in the world". You've always been my inspiration, but at that moment, when I remembered your face, you helped me to raise myself again. You helped me to believe in people again. I did move on, and today I'm back to my old self, smiling, happy, full of friends, and ready to love a man again. Thank you for being my inspiration.
Thank you, Paula.

I love you, I'm sure you feel that... I know you read my messages, and I know you read everyone's messages. That's just the way you are, a fantastic human-being :) It's funny that now when I go online and that I can communicate with you, you became part of my daily "good mornings", and "night nights", and more than that cause even when I can't write you during the day, or when I don't see you updating your messages, I know you're very busy, or sad, or bored, or doing something REALLY good that is not of our business LOL My day is not complete anymore if I don't say at least 'hello' or 'see ya later', or "goodnight" to you. I know you can't answer everyone and everytime, but I know you read everything, and that means a lot to me. I can imagine your beautiful face thinking like "I wanna answer everyone, I wanna answer everyone!", but some people understand that you can't. You have thousands of lovers :) You are unique, Paula. You deserve the best things ever, you are where you deserve to be. For all your hard work, for all your kindness. You are this sweet woman-girl or girl-woman. And even if I'm not very close, I know that I'll give you a huge hug when I meet you. And more... even if I never have the chance to give you a hug cause I'm not the kind of person who searches for you in every single corner of this city LOL, I'll still love you in the very same way... always.
"Pawrla" hehe Paulinha do meu coração (Paulinha who belongs to my heart), I'm very happy for your huge success, I've always loved to see you dancing, I love your songs (especially 'Rush Rush' live in Japan, 'Cold Hearted Snake' videoclip and 'Vibeology' IN MY CAR AND CELL PHONE lol), I LOVE your perfomances everywhere, and all you do on tv, from American Idol to other appearences in tv shows, series, etc. I love reading your blog, I laugh a lot with your comments about your cute chihuahuas :) I'm very proud of you and of your new projects. Your new single "I'm Just Here For The Music" is delicious, "FANTASTIQUE"! I'm very happy to write you a letter in a such special day. I really want you to have a blessed day. The day you were born :) Celebrate, go have fun, and as I always say to you, never ever leave LOVE behind -I just feel sorry it's L.A. and OMG, I know how hard it it is to date a nice serious guy here! LOL But you're a beautiful woman, very talented, very intelligent, and you deserve a man who gives you love :) But remember angel... men are not perfect HAHAHA So... open your heart, and LOVE your guy too. Seriously. Take risks, even if it could hurt later. Try, you gotta try ;) That's the best advice I can give you for now, and "That's What Friends Are For" (Today, in a very simple way, I'm singing this for you http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_RTNsLT0JCk ). I'm a fan, and I'm your friend too, in my heart ;) I wanna see you completely happy in everything, and FOREVER. You're forever my girl, and remember that I am "Forever Your Girl" too :) I love you, Paula. I'm saying that with all my heart. God bless all the days of your life. Smile like you always do :)))

A HUGE HUUUUUUUGE hug, beijos (kisses). Eu te amo muito(I love you very much)

Sincerely,

Malu [@Tonange]

Não que eu não tenha lhe amado (lyrics by Malu Tonange)

Não que eu não tenha lhe amado (lyrics by Malu Tonange)

Nao que eu não tenha lhe amado
Mas voce só pisou na bola
Lhe dei mais do que merecia
E você me deu a vida vazia
Fui doendo com seu sarro
Esperando, esperando
E recebendo seus trocados.

Nao que eu não tenha lhe amado
Mas você passou dos limites
Sem nunca me levar adiante
Já tinha guardado seu diamante
Nao pra mim, me deixou sempre de lado
Me deixou sempre distante.

Não que eu não tenha lhe amado
Só cansei de aceitar
as mentiras sobre o futuro
De que junto a gente ia ficar
Que você queria comigo acordar
E comigo estaria seguro.
Mas me disse
"agora não é o momento certo"
Eu não poderia estar perto...
E eu achando você
Muito sincero!
A contradição dos pensamentos
Confundiu meus sentimentos
Disse que o futuro
minha lembrança,
E você diz que não me deu esperança?

Não que eu não tenha lhe amado
Analiso com calma o passado
Mas pego os fatos com uma colher
Penso no quanto pra você
eu fui uma verdadeira mulher
Fiquei com você quando você precisou
Quando teve dor e quando chorou.
E você só me deu seu lado ruim
Nada, nunca fez nada por mim.

Não que eu não tenha lhe amado
Mas seria muito mais triste
se eu nunca tivesse acordado
Porque você nunca vai me respeitar
E você nunca quis tentar me amar
Tudo pra você foi demais
Foi muito cuidado
Você só me deu seu lado ruim
Nada, nunca fez nada por mim.

Não que eu não tenha lhe amado
Eu que aguentei muito...
Mas a panela de pressão estourou
Jogue fora nossas lembranças
Assim como você sempre me jogou.
Coloque sua feiosa na cama
Pendurada na parede, no retrato
Nas gavetas, no banheiro,
Na cozinha, no chuveiro
Porque pra mim você só deu seu lado ruim
Nada, nunca fez nada por mim.

Não que eu não tenha lhe amado
Mas você nunca me deu valor
Da pior forma eu agi, de fato
Mas não foi maior que essa dor
Eu nunca lhe contei mentiras
E com covardia você me zuou
Me testou de todas as formas
Procurou is meus defeitos
Eu tenho muito valor
Você é que não tem mais jeito
E é nisso que o amor se torna
Olho pra você com raiva de mim
Por ter me enganado tanto assim.

Não que eu não tenha lhe amado
Mas agora quero que você se vá
Vá para bem longe onde a gente nao possa
Nunca mais se cruzar
Vá para outro país, ou mesmo cidade
Não quero mais vê-lo
Nem com muita idade
E infelizmente com você sonho
Parece com a realidade
No meus sonho você velho estava
E no meu rosto você pegava
Pedia por paciência
E eu acreditava.
Lembro das suas rugas
Eram muitas, e assustei
Mas te amava tanto
E esperei.
No sonho você també mudou
A minha alegria pouco durou
Como nos dias seguintes das nossas noite de amor
Você me testou
Me desprezou, me humilhou
Com outras mulheres me comparou
Eu não sabia o que dizer
Mas hoje sei
Que você nunca me ajudou a crescer
No sonho você também sumiu
O amor você fingiu
Eu acordei, amor em vão
Uma dor no coração.
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