For you, Paulette :)

Dear Paula,

Sweet Paula... God created you as a very talented and sweet girl. Everyone knows that you've been fighting, working hard, and keeping your head up in very difficult moments, and that's why you are where you deserve to be right now. You're recognized by everyone because of your talent, and you're truly beloved BY GOOD PEOPLE because you are a good person. Sometimes we're been through something we don't want to, and this something make us sad, we cry, we don't see God, we don't see even the floor we're stepping on. God sees it, my angel. And He knows exactly what's going on, and He always wants what it's better for us. You had hard times in your life when you had car/plane accidents, and I believe that at some point you cried and thought that you'd never make it. I believe that at some point you cried desperate, and didn't know what was going to happen. But here you are now. You won. You found strenght inside, God gave you directions, and you never gave up on anything. You're a fighter, you're a winner, I know that. People who have worked with you/for you know that, fans know that, even haters know that (but we don't give a sh* LOL), everyone knows that. God knows that. God knows what you are, and how sweet you are, what your weaknesses are, where your strenght is! That's the most important thing. He knows your limits, and what is good for you. Most of the time when we try, try, try, to have something, God is working up there for us to give us the best thing ever. At present time maybe we don't see it, but we do see it in the future. Maybe if you hadn't pass through so very hard moments, you'd never be a fighter as you are, and have the true values of life inside of you, sweet Paula. You have all these good things inside of you because somehow you experienced certain things in your life that made you see how beautiful life is and how miracles happen. I was driving 110 North another day, and my friend and I were late, I was very upset because we were a few minutes late to get to a party. At some point of the freeway, we saw a bad accident, people were crying, and the cars were destroyed. It happened minutes before we got there. Probably we would have been in that accident if we weren't late. Thank God we were late. In another day, last Thursday, I forgot the tickets for the American Idol concert in my house (South Bay). I was already in Hollywood to pick up my friend, and we were getting our make-up ready when I remembered the tickets were still in my house. We had to go all the way back in the carpool lane, I was shaking, very mad at myself for being so stupid, and I almost cried thinking that we would propably miss the concert. I didn't cry cause my friend told me this "if we're not getting there right now, it's because God is protecting us from something we don't know, and we're gonna get there at the time He wants to". We got there for the concert, just a few minutes late, but didn't miss anything important to us. We don't know what could have happened to us if we had taken the other direction. But at the moment my friend said that, I held my tears, and thought... "it's true, we don't have to worry, God is in control".
Paula, I love you. You're beloved by many people. Can you imagine how much God loves you, sweetie? He won't abandone you. Whatever happens to your personal or professional life, is something blessed by God. There are good people in the world, and there are evil people in the world. You are part of the group of the good ones. If God gives the sun and the rain to evil people and good people, can you imagine what can he give more to good people? Whatever happens, be sure my doll, that it will be for your good cause u're a very special person, and God has the best things for you. We don't know if He wants you on AI. Maybe yes, maybe not. We'll see. We know what we want. We want you to stay. We know that you want to stay cause you love your job, and you're the only one who's very dedicated to those kids, and to the show in everything. We know that millions of people want you to stay and that when the show starts, if you're not there, we all are gonna get united for you and turn off the tv in protest, for the whole season. We won't watch it. I won't watch it, and I know the people who will do the same. Maybe you'll say "guys, you don't need to do that..." , but Paula, we will. If the don't be fair to you, we all will. We know how much you love working there. But loviiie, what I wanna tell is that if you don't keep there, for sure it's because there is something better for you in the very close future. You're such a talented person, you succeed in everything. You know why? Because in everything you do, you put your heart on it. You don't work for the money only, you also work with your heart, and that what makes you so special. And if you're so special my sweetheart, God will never let you stay in places that you won't feel good anymore. He wants to keep you special, and see you happy working. I want that too :) I wanna see you happy :))) It's very important that you keep always dancing, and making your albums, that's a gift you have, a talent of not many people, a work you do perfectly. You make great music. You're a choreographer as anyone else. Keeping writing music, keep believing. Always. I believe you. I believe in you. I know you're gonna be fine, even if it looks like it's a hard moment. It will be better, my sweet Paula. I love you very very much, and I don't wanna see you crying. If you get sad, I cry. It's true. I don't like to see you sad cause I know how sweet you are, and that you don't deserve to be treated wrong. You're a doll. I say it again.. you're a winner, Paula. You are. God is with you, I'm sure. Don't cry. Your tears make my heart hurt a lot, and I cry :( Keep moving, keep smiling, go find your way, God will give you what you need. Believe. I'm praying for you. Smile. You have the most beautiful smile I ever seen :))) I love you, lovely Paula. Feel I'm hugging you now! Huuuuuuuug :) Enjoy your Sunday, go have fun, reflect a bit, don't cry, pray... and dance ;)

With love,

Malu xoxo

Te amo, my dear friend Nara :)

Los Angeles, July 10th 2009.

Today I'm gonna celebrate my friendship with Nara. You're probably asking yourself..."who's Nara?"
Nara is joy. If you wanna know what joy really is, you should hang out with my friend Nara. Wherever she goes, she brings joy to that place. She makes people laugh, but not because she makes jokes, or try to entertain anyone, it's just because she's a true happy person. She smiles the whole time - except when she's hungry hehe.
I've been living in the USA for almost three years, and last year God gave me the chance to meet Nara. From day one, we were friends. We had our best times together, we hung out around L.A., we had vacation together, she stayed in my house, she played with the kids the whole time. Nara is like a kid, she has this energy, she plays all the time, she falls down on the floor and get hurt all the time while playing. At the same time, she's very mature. I saw her crying only once, when someone made her feel like an idiot. Next day she forgave that person.
Nara never worries about anything. She never suffers for something that could happen. She lives life at present time, and waits for the future with a positive attitude. She's practical, never paranoic. She taught me how to see things in a easier way, and showed me that I can complicate things when they don't need to be complicated.
Nara can be crazy, so drunk, and talks to everyone on the streets. If someone is not a good influence for her, she doesn't worry about it, she just keeps herself away from trouble. She can have her quiet times, and reflect about God for weeks. She asked me if she could go with me to the church ( as if she needed to ask...), and we went there together. She jumped, sang, prayed, as if she was there for so many years. She never felt unconfortable, and never judged my religion. I love the fact that she doesn't judge people by religion, color, economy levels, etc.
Nara is a wonderful human being. She has her mistakes, not many, I can tell. But the ones she has, she corrects them quick. She talks. Nara and I talk to each other like sisters. She calls me Malukete :) We never hide anything from each other. If we're in a bad mood - usually me- she would say that I'm terribly annoying, and vice-versa. We never had a fight, but we had arguments regarding different points of view and we always end up with an agreement. She faces life as a gift, and I learned a lot from her about it.
Nara and I went to San Diego, Las Vegas, San Francisco, etc, together. We shared a huge journey here in the USA, and now she's gonna continue hers in Brazil. I'll continue mine here. For how long? I don't know, and I'm not gonna worry about math, numbers. I will do what my dear friend taught me... I'll face it in a positive way.
Nara is inside of the airplane now. I prayed for her already, I have my good thoughts on her. Before she got in the airplane to come back to Brazil she sent me a txt message. She said "Thank you, Malukete. Time for you to kick your ass here and for me to kick my ass there [Brazil]. Kisses". This is SO Nara.

***Narinha, I love you... I'll miss you. You are very important to me, and you'll be my friend forever. I'll see you again, somewhere in this beautiful world. I will stop now, or I'm gonna cry. And you taught me not to cry for every single thing that makes me emotional. I love you... God Bless You always.
Narinha, eu te amo... Vou sentir saudade. Você é importante pra mim, abestada! E você é minha amiga pra sempreeeee. Lógico que eu vou te ver de novo, em algum lugar desse mundo liiindo. Chega de falar, senão vou chorar, e você me ensinou a não chorar por qualquer merda -sem ofensa HAHAHAHA LOL A traducão em português tá beeeeeem melhor HAHAHA. Te amo amiga, fica com Deus.

Malu xoxo

You Built Part of Who I am (my little tribute to Michael Jackson)

Los Angeles, July 7th 2009.

I've been very sad the whole day... when someone we don't know in person dies we feel sorry for that, but we don't really cry. I cried almost the whole day because of Michael Jackson, and there are many reasons why.

One thing I can remember as if it was today... it was my mom driving the car and we were listening to "Heal The World". I remember that despite being only a kid, I was touched by that song... and that's how I know that little kids are already very sensitive to certain things. Some more, some less... but for sure kids remember almost everything they had in their childhood when they grow up. I remember that I thought that song was so beautiful, I loved the kids talking in the beginning of it too, which is a child talking. I remember that I loved Michael Jacksons soft voice too. Today I can name it "soft", but when we're children we don't really know the word... we just feel it. When we grow up we can name things, but still can remember the feeling we had when we were kids. When I hear "Heal The World" I have the same feeling I had when I was kid. I get emotional.

I grew up listening to Michael Jackson's songs , and that's because of my family. My mom (Ana) and my father(Érico) love Michael Jackson. I knew they would be very sad to know that Michael died. My mom sent me a message... she was in tears like me. She remembered exactly the same things I remembered from when I was a kid, or a teen. I'm very emotional right now, I can't stop crying and I can't stop writing about it... it's like... I need to put on the paper the difference that someone can make in your life, even if you don't know this someone in person.
My mom remembered that I was in love with 'Man in The Mirror', my favorite Michael Jackson's song. She said things that I can remember... I used to pay attention to the back singers (the female voices) and sing that song with so much passion... Michael has perfect songs...

Still talking about Michael in my childhood... my sister (Janaína) and I used to get together with our neighbor (Helen) to sing and dance Michael Jackson songs... We loved to wait for her to jump the walls from her house to our house, and we held each other all excited to see her album "Thriller", which was the best selling album at that time (and became the best seeling album of all times). We loved to watch MTV together to see the videoclip! We were all a little bit scared of it, but still could make fun of it...

Once in the car, my sis and I put the song "Black or White", which my daddy loved. My mom had no idea that someone in the beginning of the song would knock Macaulay Culkin's door - but my sis and I knew it, of course, and we wanted to scare my mom. Kid's things... What happened? My mom was in the car "omg, what is that???"She thought that someone was hiting the windows in the car. My sis and I were laughing like crazy!

My sis and I loved Michael Jackson... we drove my mom nuts with "Liberian Girl", and there is this girl in the beginnig of the song that says something in another language, and we used to copy her in front of my mom - MILLION TIMES lol. It's funny, but "Liberian Girl" has Paula Abdul, who I became a huge fan later (I simply LOVE her), and remember my mom putting her songs on our radio...

We were staring at the tv waiting for the "Moonwalker"... I remember that so perfectly... my sis and I loved the bunny cartoon! Of course - we were kids! We also loved the song "Will You Be There" cause it was from the movie "Free Willy". It's interesting... when I hear it, I have in mind the end of the movie, when those Killer Whales are swimming happy in the ocean to the sound of Michael Jackson...

When I was a kid I used to travel a lot by car with my parents. We had (and still have) a beach house in Guarujá, São Paulo, where we practically grew up. At that time my skin was so perfect, so ten, so beautiful. Today I barely have sun bath lol so I'm as white as Nicole. Ok, not ugly, but so different from what I used to be hehe. My sis and I were little fishes. We were great swimmers... we had a lot of fun... and one of our favorite things to do was to pretend we were Michael Jackson and Stevie Wonder in "Just Good Friends". We used to make our duets, and entertain the family hehe. We also had our duet while singing "I Just Can't Stop Loving You", and from that we knew we were singers already. We used to make a little dance for this song, we would not move until I started sing the second part, we could move only our hands, and we had our backs together. I remember all that!!!!!!!

As a teenager I bought my first Michael Jackson album: "Dangerous". I was crazy about the song "Jam", and I didn't understand anything Michael Jackson was singing, but I liked the rap guy saying "Michael Jackson" in the middle of the song! With this album I could recognize some of the songs I already knew, and added "Keep the Faith"as one of my favorite songs. The lyrics I could understand a bit more, and the choir just moved me. I was a singer already, and as a teen (like a kid), I would imagine I was singing with that huge choir behind me. That choir was so amazing... That's how my passion for choirs began :) Later I was a solist in Coralusp and had the whole choir singing behind me. Dreams do come true :)

I used to sing "The Way We Make Me Feel" at the karaoke bars, and my best friend Estevam, who wanted to name me "Malu Dion" at that time, was kind of frustrated that I was named "Malu Jackson" by the owner of the karaoke LOL. Later I had the nickname "Malu Dion" singing onstage in High School times, and that was because I used to sing all Céline Dion songs in the competitions. And won :))) Great times...

Céline sang "What More I Can Give" with Michael. I almost died! The fact that she was the first one to start the song made me cheer up for her (I'm a true Céline fan for 14 years). Fan things :) Michael was watching her in front row when she won the Grammy for "Because You Loved Me", and she was probably scared to death, I knew she loved him too. It's funny how all the artists I love are related somehow. I've been meeting many friends and fans through them all. And the funniest thing is that I met three "Paula Abdul-Céline Dion fans" like me. And they all love Michael too. I think that LOVE unites these artists somehow, through music and fans.

I'm telling all this here today cause I'm reflecting how a person can make a big difference in your life. Michael made a huge difference in my life. I'm more sensitive to music because of his music, because of what I heard when I was a child. He brought joy to me and my family while we enjoyed his music. He was sweet, and kind, and I admired him so much. I didn't know Michael in person, but he added to my career, and my voice tremendouly. I paid attention to his singing and learned a lot from it. His dance moves were the best, I used to dance good, not anymore lol. Read a little bit of what I wrote to know how he was part of my life... it's here and a lot is in my brain, some things I can't remember anymore, but they're all there...
When I say that a person we don't know in person makes a huge difference in our lives, it's true. Michael made a difference in many other people's lives. Céline and Paula make a huge difference in mine. They're also my inspiration, and good people I look at. Role models. I have a special feeling about them, I'm part of their fan clubs for a while, and know a lot more about their careers. I'm not them, I don't wanna copy them, but they add me a lot as artists and great human-beings. Michael was a wonderful human being. I've always defended him, always loved him so much. I cried many times while watching his interviews, people judging his appearence, telling lies about him, and he started crying many times during his interviews. He would say softly and crying "why are you doing this to me?"... he couldn't believe how people could be mean. I supported him. Michael was as sweet as a child. And today in his Memorial at Staples Center we saw his whole family united telling people the same thing, the great human-being he was. Now he will have peace. He is with God. I have no doubt about it. I have this in my heart, and wherever he is... he is happy with God.

*** Michael, you'll be part of my greatest memories... the best moments I had with my family. My lovely childhood. The difference you made in our lives with your incredible talent. The difference you made to my beloved artists too. The partnership and friendship you had with my beloved Paula Abdul while at Jackson 5, and while she was part of 'Liberian Girl' or choreographed Janet, etc. The work with my beloved Céline Dion, who you loved deeply and brought her to tears many times. And finally, me. You added to my music, my career, my voice, my sensitive heart. You made me feel things when I was a kid that were my first signs of being an artist. Thank you, Michael. You're in peace, I'm so sure of it... I love you, forever. Malu